Mario's Painful Picnic
by KittenRainbow
Summary: In this story, humor and drama accompany the Mario Bros as they try to have a picnic on a rainy day, but also fail epically. With unexpected guests and Peruvian Death Peppers, who know what will happen next! Please R&R, if you will! *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

On a rainy Saturday, Mario and Luigi were bored out of their living skulls. There was nothing good on TV... unless you wanted to watch "Golfing with Dave."  
Luigi came to Mario and said, "Mario, I'm like, freaking bored. We need to do something before we go crazy."  
Mario, who had been daydreaming about food (as usual), suddenly said, "Let's have a picnic! We could invite the girls over, and have a great potluck, and rent a movie, and-"  
Luigi stopped him and said, "Mario, are you crazy? Can't you see the rain outside?" Mario looked outside, and let out a sigh. "Rats." Suddenly his face lit up. "That's it! Why don't we have the picnic indoors? That would be way better, and that way, we could eat, and watch a rented movie,and eat, and-"  
Luigi interrupted again and said, "Where could we possibly get all the food, and how would we get the house cleaned up, if the girls came here?"  
Mario was getting his raincoat. "Easy. You clean up the house, and I'll get the food and the girls."  
Luigi tried to protest. "But Mario-"  
But Mario was already out the door.

While Luigi was stuck being the housemaid, Mario set out to get some delicious food. While doing so, Mario passed Princess Peach and Princess Daisy taking a walk with their umbrellas.  
"Hi, Mario!" said the girls.  
"Oh hey there," replied Mario. "Listen, me and Luigi are having an indoor picnic at our place. You wanna come?" The girls squealed. "Of course we would like to come! We were about to go crazy being in this awful rain. We'll be at your house right away!" The girls immediately headed for Mario and Luigi's house.  
Mario hesitated. "Wait! Luigi is still cleaning the house!" But the girls didn't hear him. They had gone too far to be able to hear him. "Rats." Mario said under his breath. "Well, I better get the food."

At home, Luigi was pretending that he was Mary Poppins, cleaning up the house. He even had a special housemaid dress to wear. While he was dancing around and singing at the top at his lungs, the two princesses walked in. They stared in total shock at his choice of attire.  
Luigi turned around and saw the girls staring at him with their mouths WIDE open. His face turned so red, you couldn't recognize him. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Luigi screamed at the top of his lungs and raced upstairs.  
The girls stared at each other. "Now that I think of it," Peach said slowly, "I remember Mario saying something about Luigi cleaning the house."  
Daisy nodded. "I've heard about housemaids before, but what I just saw there is ridiculous!"


	2. Chapter 2

A while after Luigi had run upstairs, the door opened and Mario came in with three flat boxes and large grocery bags. When he saw Peach and Daisy on the couch, he was surprised. They weren't supposed to come for a half-hour. "Where's Luigi?" Mario asked. The girls pointed upstairs as an embarrassed Luigi came down, wearing his normal clothes. "I'm here."

"Dude, what the heck happened to you?" Mario asked. Luigi shrugged and looked at the ground. "Nothing. So," he said, changing the subject, "what did you get?"

"Ummm," Mario replied, not wanting to answer.

Luigi looked in the bag and in the boxes. "A Vegas-style all-you-can-eat buffet and pizza? Mario, are you freaking serious? You seriously can't get something HEALTHY or some other crap? Jeez, Mario, this is the reason why you need to go on a diet, you only think about junk food, you fat slob!"

"WHAT did you just call me?!" Mario asked, his face turning red from embarrassment and anger. "You better run, Luigi, because I'M GONNA FREAKING KILL YOU!"

Mario began chasing Luigi around the house, while Luigi ran for his life. "Yeah, you BETTER run, Luigi, you sissy weasel!" Mario taunted, chasing his brother, who just ran up the stairs. Mario raced up the stairs when Luigi suddenly made a monstrous leap over him and back down the stairs. Mario tried to do the same when he tripped over something in the stairway. He took many blows to the face as he fell down the stairs.

"Mario! Are you okay?" asked Peach, as she rushed over to his side.

Mario raised up his head and said something in Italian. "_Che cosa ho appena inciampare_?" ("What did I just trip over?")

"You tripped over my tennis racket-and you FREAKING BROKE IT!" Luigi yelled.

"So what? I broke your MP3, too!" Mario yelled from his spot on the ground.

"WHAT?! I had like, ten thousand songs on that thing!"

Mario smiled. "You only had 50 songs or something like that."

"Well, two hours ago, I flushed your golden watch down the toilet!" Luigi sneered.

"My priceless golden watch that Granny gave me? Oh my God, I'm gonna KILL YOU!"

"STOP IT!" Daisy screamed. Mario and Luigi looked at her. "You're both acting like spoiled brats. Let's just have the picnic and get this over with already."

"But Mario broke my MP3!" protested Luigi.

"SHUT UP!" Daisy yelled at him. Luigi cowered and took a few steps back.


	3. Chapter 3

Afterwards, they all sat at the table. Mario and Luigi had sour expressions on their faces as they sat from each other as far as possible. Peach did the honors of serving the Vegas-style all-you-can-eat-buffet. Daisy was still mad as she served the pepperoni pizza.  
They all ate in silence until the phone rang.  
"I'll get it!" said Luigi.  
"No, I will!" said Mario. He and Luigi pushed and shoved each other as they both tried to reach the phone. "Oh, for crying out loud!" Daisy stood up and grabbed the phone herself. "Hello?"  
"Hi Daisy!" said Yoshi. "Me and Toad here are going nuts doing nothing. What are you doing?"  
"Oh, nothing much. Peach and I are trying to eat here while making sure that Mario and Luigi don't kill each other." Daisy shot a glance at the Mario bros.  
"Did you say...EAT!?" Yoshi squealed, his eyes growing wide.  
"Ummm...yes," Daisy replied. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Daisy came over and opened the door. To her surprise, Yoshi and Toad were there.  
"We'll be right over!" Yoshi said into the phone that he was carrying.

A few minutes later, Yoshi and Toad were seated around the table, gobbling down all the food in sight. Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were staring at them, wide-eyed.  
"Wow! This food is AWESOME! Mario, where'd you get all this?!" Yoshi said, his mouth full of fries.  
"Umm... from the store," Mario said. "The pizza was from Dominoes."  
"Hey Mario, have you ever tried this Peruvian Death Pepper?" asked Toad.  
"No..."  
"Well, you should. Here." Toad flung a pepper at Mario. Unfortunately, Mario didn't see it coming, and it hit him in the eye.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! That BURNS! I'M BLIND!" Mario screamed. He got up, half-blind, and ran to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Toad was feeling guilty, while Luigi was laughing hysterically.  
"Shut up, Luigi! That's not funny!" said Peach.  
"Yes it is! That's hilarious!" laughed Luigi as tears fell from his eyes.  
"SHE SAID IT'S NOT FUNNY! NOW SHUT UP LUIGI! roared Daisy.


	4. Chapter 4

While Daisy was yelling at Luigi (again), Mario was still in the bathroom, putting water on his right eye.  
"God, this freaking burns!" Mario said, wetting a towel.  
"Umm... Mario? are you okay in there?" asked Toad, knocking on the door.  
"Yeah... I'm okay, but it burns like hell," Mario took the towel away and looked at his eye. "OH MY GOD IT'S TOTALLY RED!"  
"Are you serious? Let me see! Let me see!" Toad cried, flinging open the door.  
Unfortunately, Mario was going to open the door for Toad, (and the door opened inwards), so Mario got it right in the face. He fell over backwards, passed out.  
"Mario!" Toad cried. He glanced at Mario, then at the dining room (where Luigi, Daisy, Peach and Yoshi were) and took a few steps back. "I am so fired," he said quietly.

* * *

AN: Ehh, sorry it's short. :/


	5. Chapter 5

When Toad went down the stairs, he had a nervous look on his face. He hoped no one would notice how nervous he was, or that anyone would ask about Mario, who was still passed out.

"Toad, where's Mario? And why are you so nervous? " asked Peach.

Toad looked at Peach. "Me? Nervous? Ha! T-That's a joke, right? Why would I be n-nervous? And I don't know where Mario is. I mean, why would I know w-where he is?"

"Because you followed him-duh," said Peach.

Daisy had enough. "You know, I'm going up there myself." She started walking up the stairs.

"_NOOOOOO!_ Daisy, don't go up there!" cried Toad. He grabbed the hem of Daisy's dress, trying to stop her. Daisy didn't even pay attention to Toad's ranting. She unhooked herself from Toad's hands, and continued up the stairs.

"I tried to stop her! If she sees what I did to Mario, she's going to kill me!" Toad sobbed.

"WHAT did you do to Mario?" Peach inquired.

"Ummm...nothing. I mean, it wasn't even my fault! I didn't see him, and then the door slammed, and-"

Toad was interrupted by Daisy's shrill scream. "AAAAAAHHHHHH! IT'S TOTALLY RED! TOAD, WHAT DID YOU _DO_ TO HIM?! OH MY GOD!"

"_JUST WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN MY BATHROOM?! GET OUT!_" screamed Mario, who woke up when Daisy yelled.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Daisy was not expecting Mario to yell at her, so she quickly punched him in the face and ran out. She ran down the stairs, where Peach and Luigi were.

"Daisy, what happened? You look like you've just seen a Boo," Peach asked. Daisy took a few breaths to calm herself down, then she got to her point. "Toad,_ WHERE ARE YOU?!_"

* * *

AN: Yeahh...lots of yelling. ^^;


	6. Chapter 6

Toad was hiding under the bed in Luigi's bedroom. He was shaking with fear, thinking that Daisy might tear him in half, and then tear him in half again. Then she would fry him up on the grill, and then he would be fed to the chomps.

_**CRASH!**_ The door to Luigi's bedroom was torn in half as Daisy stomped in like a crazy person. "_IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TOAD!_" Daisy yelled.

Toad stayed under the bed and tried not to move. _I'm so screwed_, he thought. Daisy lifted the bedspread and picked him up. She then carried him by his vest to the living room, where everyone was. Daisy sat him down on the ground.

"Well, Toad? What did you do?" asked Daisy.

Toad was so nervous he didn't say anything at first. "I-I..uh-"

"Well? I'm waiting to hear your explanation, Toad," said Luigi with a smug look on his face.

"Okay, it wasn't even my fault! Please don't kill me! Toadette would laugh at me!" Toad cried, covering his face.

"That still doesn't answer my question!" inquired Luigi.

"Shut up, Luigi! I don't WANT to answer your dumb questions! You weren't even asking them! Daisy was! Oh, and by the way, Daisy pounded your bedroom door in half! It's all broken now! Ha!" Toad snapped at him.

Luigi whirled his head around at Daisy. "You **BROKE** my bedroom door?! Now how am I supposed to have some private time for writing in my diary?!"

"You have a DIARY?!" Mario laughed, coming down the stairs. He had his hand over his right eye, so no one would see it. "Oh, man, that's _CLASSIC_! What do you write in there, _'I'm in love with Princess Daisy'_?"

"**SHUT UP**, MARIO! THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! screamed Luigi, his face turning as red as Mario's eye. "And anyways, look who's talking! At least _I'M_ brave enough to tell you that! If you think you're so brave, why don't you take your hand away and show everyone that eye of yours? Not brave enough now, huh?"

Now this was something that Mario didn't want to do. His eye had started to clear up, but it still had a long way to go. Now it was a very deep pink. And it still burned from the Peruvian Death Pepper. But he didn't want Luigi thinking he was a sissy, so he slowly removed his hand.

"OH MY GOD..." said Luigi, his mouth hanging WIDE open. "HOLY CRAP!"

"Whoa..." said Peach. "I mean, I've heard of pinkeye, but that's too much!"

"Look how bloodshot it is," said Daisy, her eyes wide.

Yoshi was shocked. "It looks awful. I can't believe you did this, Toad."

"I DIDN'T DO IT! cried Toad.


	7. Chapter 7

"Well, YOU'RE the one who threw the chili into Mario's eye in the first place," said Peach.

"Do you really think I _wanted_ to do that?" asked Toad.

"Well, DUH!" Luigi said, who was still snickering at Mario's eye. "Everyone knows that. You just did that 'cause you're jealous of Mario, right?"

"**_NO I DIDN'T! GOD LUIGI, CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?! EVERYONE WHO'S READ THIS KNOWS THAT YOU'RE BEING A BIG JERK!_**"  
Luigi was surprised. Toad usually never spoke like this. He was a calm, quiet person. Since when did he become a roaring monster?

"Yeah, Luigi," said Mario. "You are a big jerk! In fact, I think you're something worse, but if I said it, then KittenRainbow would get in trouble if her mother saw this. Why don't you just shut that potty mouth of yours and grow up?"

"And this comes from the guy who's shorter than his girlfriend," laughed Luigi.

"LUIGI SHUT UP!" yelled Mario. "There's nothing wrong with me being short!"

"Yes there is," laughed Luigi. If you and Peach ever kissed, either you would have to stand on a ladder, or she would have to kneel to reach you!"

Both Mario and Peach turned red.

Daisy had enough of this crap. "Luigi, shut up right now, or I'll SHUT IT FOR YOU!"

Luigi shut his mouth.

Daisy continued. "I'm done listening to this B.S. Luigi, sit in that corner, and keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear another word out of you."

"What is this, _PRE-SCHOOL?!_ I'm not going to sit in a CORNER! And since when can you give me orders and expect me to follow them? You're crazy!" Luigi crossed his arms. "Just because I'm more cautious than the rest of you doesn't mean I'm soft."

"_GET INTO THAT DAMN CORNER OR I'LL TEAR YOU APART AND FEED YOU TO THE CHOMPS!_" Daisy screamed.


	8. Chapter 8

"NO! I'M _DONE_ LISTENING TO YOU! I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY!" screamed Luigi.

All of a sudden, Daisy swelled up into a GIANT monster. Her eyes turned red, her hair became wild and untamed, and her clothes became torn as she grew (like the Hulk) . Luigi instantly dropped his surly look and looked terrified.

Daisy pointed towards the corner. "NOW GET INTO THE CORNER **OR ELSE**!" she snarled. Luigi was too terrified to move. His beautiful girlfriend had turned into a giant savage monster. His face turned white in fear.

"I SAID** NOW**!" she snarled. Luigi got the message and raced into the corner. He sat down and whimpered. As soon as he did, Daisy turned back into herself. (Somehow, her clothes were back to normal, too. ) "Well then," she said nicely, "Let's watch that movie you promised, Mario."

Mario was too frightened by her sudden transformation to even move. His face had turned from bright red to pale white. His right eye was still reddish, though. Slowly he nodded. "O-Okay, then," he said. They all started walking toward the den.

On the way, when Mario passed Luigi, he smiled, took off Luigi's hat, and replaced it with a dunce cap that said JERK! When Mario saw how ridiculous Luigi looked, he started laughing.

When Luigi saw all this, his temper finally boiled over. "TAKE _THIS_!" he yelled. His fist shot out and punched Mario right in the face. This took Mario by surprise, and he fell over. Luigi saw his chance to strike, and pounced. Luigi jumped and landed on top of Mario. He began swinging his fists. Luigi may be soft, but he had his share of fights. Mario did not let himself get beaten easily, so he began fighting back.

The fight reached its peak when Luigi used up all his inner strength and punched Mario solidly in the eye with all his might.

_"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! WTF IS __**WRONG**__ WITH YOU?! THIS BURNS! I THINK YOU MADE ME __**BLIND**__! OH MY GOD!_" Mario shrieked. He shoved Luigi off of him, then he held his hand over his eye, which now had a bluish-black ring over it.

"OH MY GOD! Daisy, come quick! Luigi gave Mario a black eye!" Yoshi was staring at Luigi.

"He did _WHAT_ now?!" asked Peach. She raced over to Mario's side.''Holy $#!t!"

* * *

AN: Yeah, I made Daisy turn into Monster Daisy...bite me. :P


	9. Chapter 9

Peach glared at Luigi. "Can't you refrain from killing him for at least one freaking _minute_?!" she screamed at him.

"That was _his_ fault this time!" yelled Luigi.

Peach ignored him and turned her attention back to Mario. "Mario, honey, let me see your eye," she said softly.

"Sure, she yells at me, but she acts like an angel to him," Luigi muttered under his breath.

"_Shut up_!" Peach yelled. She turned back to Mario. "Take your hand away, Mario," she said softly. She gently pried his hand away, and looked. She gasped. "Oh my God, this is bad. Yoshi, get him in the car. We're taking him to the ER," she said.

* * *

Later, they were all in the ER. Doctor Toadsworth was looking him over. "So, can anyone tell me what happened to our friend, Mario, here?" he asked.

Yoshi went first. "Well, I was going back to the den to watch the movie _Zombieland_, when I noticed that Mario wasn't with us. I went back to the living room to check, when the last thing I saw was Mario getting punched in the eye by Luigi," he said.

Luigi stood up. "He deserved it, man! He took off my hat and put a dunce cap on my head that said **Jerk**!"

Now everyone looked at Mario. "I was only playing! Toad told me to put that cap on him!" he said, his eyes welling up with tears, thinking that Daisy might turn into that beast again.

Now everyone looked at Toad. "That cap was only revenge on Luigi because he was a b*tch on me!" he said quickly in defense.

Now everyone looked at Luigi again. "Ummm..." he said. "Just a little joke?" He turned to Toad. "No hard feelings, I hope?"

"If I didn't have hard feelings, I wouldn't have told Mario to put that dunce cap on you!" he said bitterly.

"Yeah!" said Mario. "I didn't do anything! I was just doing what he told me!"

"Yeah, right! How do I know that you're telling the truth, Mario? This could have been only your idea and you just want everyone to believe you just because you have your eye hurt!"

"I wouldn't have made up a lie if I had an injury!" Mario yelled back.

Doctor Toadsworth turned to Peach and Yoshi. "This is a huge waste of my time, but I have to admit this is really good. I can't wait until KittenRainbow makes a new one."


	10. Chapter 10

After Mario and Luigi had finished screaming at each other, Doctor Toadsworth led them back outside.

"Well then, I don't think that Mario needs medicine, so just hold up an ice pack against it," he said. "See ya," Doctor Toadsworth raced back inside and slammed the door.

Mario and Peach looked at each other. "You know," Mario said slowly, "something's telling me that Toadsworth isn't a real doctor."

"Yeah," Peach agreed. "Did anyone see that price tag on his doctor certificate?"

"I did," Luigi said, sipping on a red soda. "It costs $15. What a cheapskate."

"Yeah, I think it's kinda weird that he just shoved us outside like that, without giving us the bill," Yoshi said.

At that moment, Toadsworth came outside with a slip of paper. "Oh, before I forget, your total came to $2,410 dollars and 89 cents."

"**WHAT?!**" Mario screamed. "I can't afford **THAT**! Forget it, man! I'm not paying a phony doctor two thousand bucks!"

"Okay, then, have it your way," Toadsworth said sternly. He turned toward the back of the hospital. "**POLICE**!"

Five police officers came out of nowhere and came around Toadsworth. "You called, Doctor?"they all said together.

"Yes, this guy here won't pay his bill," Toadsworth said, "and he's been a total b*tch to me!"

"_WHAT?!_" everyone yelled. "Since when has Mario been a b*tch to you, Toadsworth?!" Daisy yelled. "He's never been a b*tch to anyone!"

"Except me," Luigi muttered.

"Yes he has!" Toadsworth yelled. Everyone was surprised. They all looked at Mario. "Dude, don't look at me. I'm just as confused as you all are," he said.

"And he's going to pay me back!" Toadsworth yelled, ripping off his clothes.

At first, everyone covered their eyes, because who knows what Toadsworth has under there. But when they opened their eyes, they realized that wasn't Toadsworth at all. Toadsworth didn't rip off his clothes, he ripped off a disguise.

What the-?!" Mario gasped.

"Is that who I think it is?" Peach asked.

Luigi was so shocked he dropped his soda. "I can't believe it! It's- It's-"

"Me! That's right, suckers! I'm back!" said the person in disguise.


	11. Chapter 11

"_WARIO?!_" everyone said, completely shocked.

"That's right! I'm back!" said Wario, his face turned up into a grin.

"Dude, I seriously can't believe he's here! I thought he was still in prison with Waluigi!" said Mario, his eyes wide.

Wario shook his head. "No, me and my bro got out early on probation. I guess they didn't want us there."

Luigi laughed. "Wow, nobody likes them even in _prison_."

Wario punched Luigi right in the face. Everyone gasped. Daisy gritted her teeth, and rolled up her sleeves. "Shut up, Luigi! No one likes you either! Daisy only likes you because she feels sorry for you!" Wario remarked.

Luigi gasped and looked at Daisy. "Is that true? Do you only like me because you feel sorry for me?"

Daisy didn't know what to say. "That's not true! That's only one of his filthy lies. Don't believe him, Luigi!"

* * *

"Help me, guys!" cried Mario.

Everyone turned around to look. It turned out that Wario had tied Mario up and was putting him in his purple car. "See ya later, suckers! Me and Red here have some buisness to take care of." And with that, Wario slammed down on the pedal and took off.

"Quick, you guys! Let's catch that yellow freak!" Daisy hopped into their own car, the Cruiser. Luigi and Peach followed.

For some reason, Yoshi and Toad didn't follow. "You know, I'm getting tired of running around. Let's just go across the street to McGoomba's." Toad suggested.

"My God! Why didn't you say so before? Let's go!" Yoshi cried. The two cut across the street and entered the McGoomba's.

* * *

AN: A little short, sorry about that. :/


	12. Chapter 12

Yoshi and Toad went straight into the McGoomba's.

"Hello, welcome to the McGoomba's, where hundreds are served every day. May I take your order?" said a female Goomba.

"No, you may not," said Toad automatically.

The Goomba was surprised. "Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said," said Toad. "I said no, you may not take our order. I already know what I want."

The Goomba was confused. "Okay then, just tell me what you want, so I can tell the cooks what you want."

_"No!"_ Toad said. "You just want to tell the cooks what I want so they can just pull out some cold, nasty burger from the back of the freezer and heat it up and give it to some high-school drop-out so they can wrap it up with their hands that they haven't washed in 3 weeks and then give it to us."

"_Toad, shut your mouth!_" said Yoshi, but Toad would not listen. "No, Yoshi! I'm _tired_ of all these fast-food restaurants giving us this crap! It's about time they _actually_ cook the food for us!"

"In that case, you can go home and make a darn burger yourself, if you don't like our service!" yelled the female Goomba. "I have the right to refuse your service, you know!"

"Well, in that case, you can go to hell, lady!" Toad shouted at her. "This is the reason why you guys suck so much, and one of the reasons why KittenRainbow doesn't like to go to McGoomba's! Forget this, man. I'm going to Bowser King right next door. This place sucks big time. I'm outta here." And with that, Toad left the place.

The Goomba looked at Yoshi. "Um... I'm thinking that he has some...problems," Yoshi said uneasily. "I'll have a Big Bowser Special with an extra large French fries, a large Coke, and no pickles."

"That'll be $15.80, sir," said the Goomba, who was starting to calm down.

Yoshi dug out his wallet and gave her the money. While he was waiting, Wario's car came crashing through the window (with Mario screaming) and snatched up the Big Bowser Special that the Goomba had just placed on the counter.

Yoshi got MAD. "Oh, _HELL_ NO!" he shouted. "That's my combo right there. Get back here, you-!"

* * *

AN: I wrote this almost a year ago, so don't be offended by what Toad said, okay? :D


	13. Chapter 13

Yoshi began running after the purple car that held Wario and Mario. "Come back with my Big Bowser Special, you son of a Goomba!"

Just then, the Goomba came up with another Big Bowser Special. "I have a Big Bowser Special for a Mr. Yoshi? Hello? Anyone named Yoshi over here?"

While Yoshi chased the purple car, Toad came out of the Bowser King with a big burger in his hands. "Now **that's** good service they have right there." Then he looked to the right and saw Wario in the purple car's driver seat. Mario was all tied up and sitting in the backseat. "Toad, help me!" Mario cried before Wario stuffed him back in the seat.

Then right after Wario drove by, Daisy's hot rod came roaring by. Sitting next to Daisy (who was driving) was Peach. Luigi was in the backseat with a Game Boy in his hands. "Are we there yet?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Shut up, Luigi! No one wants to hear you right now!" said Peach, who was still irritated from what Luigi said to her and Mario earlier.

"Yeah, right," Luigi said quietly.

"We're almost there!" Daisy said as she drove faster. "That moron is going to pay _dearly_ for what he said!" Peach noticed that Daisy was accelerating faster and that her eyes were red.

"_You're driving angry!_" Peach said, who was beginning to get worried.

"_Yes I am!_" yelled Daisy, who paid no attention to Peach's tone of voice.

At Waluigi's home, Waluigi was relaxing in a hammock. "Finally, I get some alone time for me! While my stupid bro is getting himself a Big Bowser Special and getting into trouble, I'm peacefully resting in a nice hammock that I stole from Luigi." Waluigi got himself a lemonade and was about to drink it when Wario's car came roaring to a stop. Waluigi was so surprised that he spilled his lemonade all over himself.

"Waluigi, hurry up! Move your $$! I already got Mario here, now let's scram!" Wario shouted from the car. Waluigi dried himself off as best as he could and ran up to the car. He got in and sat next to Mario. He smiled as evil as he could and looked at Mario, who was trying to scoot away from Waluigi.

"Well, hello there, Mario," said Waluigi. "Or should I say, _the rat who threw us into prison in the first place_!" he growled. "I can see that you're looking nice today, with that black eye of yours. I believe it must hurt a lot. But I think I know how to make it feel all better."

"What are you going to do with me?!" Mario gasped.


	14. Chapter 14

"Oh, nothing much-if you don't mind pain," Waluigi laughed. "I thought that you were smart enough to realize that when you call the cops on two innocent people near a jewelry shop, when those two innocent people get out, there's going to be hell for you to pay."

"I called the cops on you because you two were stealing all the jewels in there!" Mario said defiantly.

"No, that's not true!" yelled Wario. "Either you were looking at something else, or it was too dark out! Why would we steal a bunch of jewels?"

"Because you two are a bunch of greedy pigs who love to steal everyone's money!" Mario yelled.

"Shut up!" Waluigi yelled. "We didn't steal nothing!"

"Oh yeah?" said Mario. "Then what was that shiny thing in your hand? It wasn't a bunch of jewels, was it?"

Waluigi was cut short. "Uh, that was...um..._my engagement ring_! Yeah, that was it! It was my engagement ring!"

"WHAT?! " Mario gasped. "You can't be serious! Since when has a girl liked you?! You don't even have your own game yet! Everyone hates you! You know that Nintendo is never giving you a girlfriend!"

"I SAID _SHUT THE FRONT DOOR_!" Waluigi screamed. He got mad at lots of things, but when someone makes fun of his never-getting-a-girlfriend thing, that's when he blows up. This time, he got so mad, he punched Mario right on his black eye. Mario gave a pained cry before he passed out.

"There," Waluigi said, panting. "That ought to keep him out for a while."

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO?!" a voice yelled. Wario and Waluigi spun their heads around to see who had just spoken. "What was that?" Wario said, totally confused.

"THAT'S **MY** FRIEND WHO YOU'RE PUNCHING THERE!" the voice yelled.

"What the hell is going on here?!" said Waluigi, who was starting to get scared. "Is that a ghost?!"

Suddenly, Toad burst through the window. "You're going to pay for everything! For what you did to Mario, for what you said to Daisy, and for stealing that Big Bowser Special from Yoshi!"

"WHAT?! That was MY Big Bowser Special!" Wario yelled, pulling the order out, while he drove with one hand. "See? This Big Bowser Special has MY name on it! Look, it says: **ORDER GOES TO MR. WARIO**. In your face!"

"Oh..." said Toad quietly. Then he looked ahead and screamed. "_AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!_ **WATCH OUT FOR THAT CLIFF!**"

Wario and Waluigi looked ahead. "_**OH SHI-!**_" they screamed.


	15. Chapter 15

Desperately, Wario made a wild turn, but then caused the car to flip over.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!_" they all shrieked. It looked like this was the end. Wario grabbed his Big Bowser Special and began to eat it as fast as he can. Waluigi grabbed a security blanket and whimpered for his mommy. Toad grabbed onto Mario (who was still passed out) and held on tight.

Just when it looked like they were going to crash, the car bounced on a big mattress and landed on a bunch of pillows. The car rolled to a stop. Wario stopped eating his burger, Waluigi stopped sucking his thumb, and Toad let go of Mario.

The three got out of the car.

"Wow, that was really random and unexpected," said Toad, looking around.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess KittenRainbow didn't want us to die," said Waluigi, letting go of his blanket.

"Of course she wouldn't!" yelled Wario. "Because if we _did_ die, then this whole story would have been a _total rip-off_! And then everyone who was reading this would have been mad! This is the reason why you're such a moron!"

"Shut up, you fat b*tch !" Waluigi yelled.

"Whoa...he's got a potty mouth," Toad whispered. While the two were fighting, Toad quietly crept over to the purple car. He quickly opened the door and untied Mario. "Come on, Mario, wake up. We can escape right now. God, wake up!" Toad gently shook Mario, but Mario would not stir. "Fudge!" Toad said. He used up all his inner strength to pick up Mario. He was surprised by how heavy Mario was. "God, Mario, try a salad!" he said as he pulled Mario from the car and away. Toad tried to be as quiet as he could, but just then, Mario's shoes came up against a stone and made a loud scraping sound.

"Great," Toad muttered. "Nice going, Mario."

Wario and Waluigi stopped their bickering long enough to see what had made the sound. _"HEY! JUST WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK __**YOU'RE**__ GOING, MISTER?!_" Wario yelled.

Wario's sudden outburst made Mario wake up. "Ooohhhhhh, my head. What happened?"

"We're both about to die, _that's_ what's happened! Run!" Toad yelled.

Waluigi stepped up. "The good Lord gave me these legs for a reason!" With that, he gave Toad a swift kick in the face. Toad fell over, unconscious.

Both Wario and Waluigi began to gang up on Mario. He stepped back, until he came up against a wall.

"Say your prayers, Mario," sneered Waluigi. "It's time to pay for throwing us in jail. When we're done with you, not even the doctors will be able to help you."


	16. Chapter 16

Mario tried to run, but Waluigi lashed out and tripped him. Waluigi picked him up and made him face Wario.

"This is for calling the cops on us!" Wario said. He used all his strength and pounded Mario in the stomach. Mario yelped and bent over from the pain.  
"And this is for having the judge having declared us guilty!" Waluigi sneered as he kicked Mario in the...well, you know. Mario crossed his legs and doubled over. "_Oh, sweet mother,_" he gasped.

Wario was using all his inner strength to launch this one. "And this is for you laughing as we were hauled off to jail!" Wario stepped up and put on golden brass knuckles. Mario gasped. "_You wouldn't_!"

Wario laughed. "Of _course_ I would," he sneered. "Mother gave me her prized brass knuckles for my tenth birthday, because she knew that I was destined to be the biggest, baddest fighter ever!"

"And all she gave me were socks," Waluigi muttered.

"Get ready to have your skull fractured, Mario!" sneered Wario. As he pulled up his fist...

"_**YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**_" Daisy yelled as she drove her car across the cliff. Wario stopped what he was doing, and looked up. Waluigi and Mario looked up, too. Daisy's car was right above them. It bounced off the mattress and landed on the pillows, eventually landing on Wario's purple car. Wario was shocked._ "My car! My beautiful, beautiful car!_"

Waluigi began to laugh. "Now that's classic! Daisy's car _HAD_ to land on Wario's car!"

"SHUT UP!" Wario yelled as he pulled back his fist, thinking it was Mario who was laughing. Mario saw the fist coming, and tried to duck as fast as he can, but he wasn't fast enough. Wario's fist hit the very top of Mario's head.

Mario began to see stars. "Look at the pretty stars," he said weakly.

By then, Daisy, Luigi, and Peach had gotten out of the car. "It's time to pay for all you've done!" Peach yelled. When she finished saying that, Daisy swelled up into that monster again. Luigi grabbed a hammer, and Peach grabbed Perry the Umbrella.

"_ATTACK!_" all three yelled.


	17. Chapter 17

Wario and Waluigi stared at them, "Oh snap," they said quietly.

Peach turned to face Perry. "Alright, Perry, unleash your fire power upon these morons!"

Perry faced the two. "Prepare to be burned at no mercy!" Perry pulled out a Fire Flower and ate it, turning him red. He opened his mouth, and flames came spewing out, landing on Wario and Waluigi.

"_AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHHH! I'M ON __**FIRE**__!_" screamed Wario. Waluigi began running around in circles, trying to put out the fire that was on his hat.  
While Waluigi was running around, Luigi came with his GIANT hammer and nailed Wario to the ground. "That ought to settle our dispute for a while," he said, grinning.

Waluigi was still running in circles, when he was picked up by Monster Daisy. "Please have mercy on your old buddy, Daisy!" he pleaded. "What did I do?"

"He was the one who kicked Mario in the batteries, and he also made Mario's eye worse than it already is!" yelled Toad, who just woke up. "AND he gave me this bruise with those ugly elf shoes!" Toad lifted his chin to show Monster Daisy. There was an ugly bruise on his chin, which had a pink ring around it.

Waluigi turned to face Monster Daisy, who was even angrier now. "Please have mercy, Daisy! I thought you were more sweet and gentle. Please, spare me your wrath!"

Then Waluigi looked at Mario, who was still seeing stars. "But Mario deserved everything he got. He was the one who threw us in jail, when we didn't do anything. I swear, we were walking home, when we saw two little punks opening the jewelry shop. One of them was a Toad, and the other was...ummmmm," Waluigi strained to remember. Suddenly it came to him. "Mario! _He_ was the one who opened the jewelry shop's door! I remember now! He wasn't wearing his hat, so I didn't recognize him! That's how he got that 'expensive' diamond ring for Peach's birthday!"

"_WHAT?!_" everyone said, looking at Waluigi. Monster Daisy instantly turned into Daisy again. "You're joking, right?"

Waluigi smiled. "Peach, show us that pretty ring that Mario gave you for your birthday two weeks ago, and see if I'm lying."

Everyone stared at Peach. She slowly pulled out her hand. A large diamond ring shone on her finger. Everyone gasped.

"Told ya," Waluigi smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

Everyone stared at Mario now. He had stood up, but he could still see stars. "Why is everyone staring at me?" he said quietly.

"_YOU_ stole from the jewelry shop...?" asked Peach softly, like she was disappointed in him.

Mario was surprised. "What? Why would I do that?"

"Mario, where did you get the ring?" Waluigi said, grinning at the fact that Mario was finally going to get it.

Luigi stepped up, "Bro, I can't believe you ripped us off like that," he said sadly, not even waiting for Mario's answer.

Mario didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him like he was some hardened criminal. Waluigi was sneering at him, and Wario was quietly chuckling to himself. _Mario's going to get it_, he told himself.

"I didn't steal anything!" Mario finally choked out. Tears began to quietly roll down his face. "I didn't steal anything," he whispered.

"If you said you didn't steal anything, then where'd you get the ring? It wasn't given to you by your mom, was it?" Waluigi sneered. "You _DID_ steal it, Mario! Don't try to get out of this! Just admit it, and maybe the police won't keep you in jail for the rest of your life."

"Shut up, Waluigi!" Mario yelled suddenly. He was trying not to cry in front of everyone, especially not Wario. His voice choked up.

Wario stepped up. "And you said that WE were the ones who broke into that shop! You're a fiendish LIAR! Finish him off!" he yelled.

Everyone began to close in on Mario. He stepped up until he came up a wall. When he couldn't go any farther, he curled up into a small ball. His knees shook, as he began to hyperventilate. _What's going to happen?_ he asked himself. He placed his hand on his black eye, which still hurt.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Waluigi cracking his knuckles, Wario was putting on his brass knuckles, and the other three came up slowly and carefully, like he was a savage animal.

Mario couldn't take it anymore. He stood up quickly. "_OKAY! OKAY! I STOLE THE RING!_"

Everyone stopped and looked at him. "What?" Daisy asked, bewildered. "But why?"


	19. Chapter 19

"But why?" asked Daisy.

Mario looked around first, as he was making sure no one else was listening. "I did it for love," he said quietly.

"_Love_?" sneered Waluigi. "He's gotta be joking. That's a total load of bull$#!t."

"_Shut up_, Waluigi! No one asked for your opinion," said Mario defiantly.

"Rude," Waluigi said, quietly.

Mario began telling the story...

"Well, four weeks ago, me and another Toad were talking about Peach's birthday. I wanted to get the perfect gift for her. Then I saw this jewelry shop on the corner. I thought about how much she liked those big diamond rings, so I went inside and saw the perfect ring for her- a big diamond ring in the shape of a heart. I instantly wanted to get it for her. But when I saw the price tag, I nearly had a _heart attack_! That ring costed _$70,000 coins!_ I didn't have enough coins to even come _close_ to that amount!

"I _REALLY_ wanted that ring for Peach, so I started working to get coins. But even after those two weeks, I only had half of what was needed. I would never be able to get that ring! So, I called up the same Toad who was with me two weeks ago, and we made a foolproof plan in order to get it. On the very night that I got it, Wario and Waluigi happened to walk by. So when I heard the police siren, the Toad and I made a run for it, therefore making a scene. When the police was investigating, I went up to them and told them that Wario and Waluigi stole from the jewelry shop. Then on Peach's birthday, I gave her the ring."

Peach placed her hand on her heart. "Mario..."

"_**I TOLD YOU**__!"_ yelled Wario. "_**I TOLD YOU**__ THAT WE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!_"

"You're just a fiendish liar, Mario!" yelled Waluigi. "You specifically said that you saw us stealing from the shop, when you were right next to the shop yourself! You _double-crosser!_ Let me at him!"

With arms outstretched, Waluigi lunged for Mario. Everyone gasped. Mario quickly put his hands in front of himself in order to protect his face. After all that happened, Mario did not want any more head injuries.

Unfortunately, Waluigi wasn't aiming for Mario's face. Waluigi dived below, and his head rammed into Mario's stomach. Mario let out a pained gasp as his breath was cut short.

"Ooohh, that's gotta hurt," said Luigi, shaking his head.


	20. Chapter 20

Waluigi was trying to hit Mario. "_DIE, YOU FIENDISH LIAR!_" Luckily, Mario was protecting his face with his hands, so Waluigi couldn't hit him that good. Basically, the tall lanky plumber was swatting at the air.

Peach came over and tried to pull Waluigi off Mario, but he was heavy. "Dang, for such a skinny guy, you're _really_ heavy," she said.

"Yeah!" Wario laughed. "He may weigh more than me!"

"_He's right!_" gasped Mario. "_Get him off me before he squishes my insides!_"

Wario came over. "I'll do the honors, since **I'm** the strongest!" He was going to pick up Waluigi, when Daisy came over. "You're not the only one who's the strongest," she said smugly. She grabbed Waluigi's skinny legs and easily lifted him up. As soon as he was lifted, Mario gasped for air and scrambled out of the way. "Fresh air!" he said happily.

"Wow, you really ARE strong," said Wario. But not as much as me."

"Oh really?" Daisy said. "Prove it."

Wario looked around to test himself out. He went over to Peach, Mario, and Luigi, and easily picked all three of them up. Peach gasped and grabbed the hem of her dress.

Daisy nodded. "Good," she said. "But not good enough." Daisy went over to a GIANT rock and picked it up with her little pinky finger. With her other hand, she picked up Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Waluigi, and Wario. "Is that good enough?" she asked smugly.

Wario had to admit defeat. "Okay, then," he grumbled. "You win."

Daisy smiled and put everyone down. By that time, it was night. "Well," Daisy said, looking around. "We better call it a night. See ya."

Everyone began to leave in pairs. Mario went with Peach. She admired the ring on her finger. "It's beautiful," she said. "I'm not pressing charges." Peach leaned down a bit and kissed Mario right on his lips. Mario turned bright red. He began to see little hearts floating around him.

"_I'm in love_," he said happily.

* * *

THE END~ :D Hope you liked it!


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